Things I'll Never Tell Her
by OctaviaWithStarsForEyes
Summary: We're a million worlds apart, so I'm content to love you from afar. I know you better than you know yourself, but I'll never say it. / K for language


Evan's knee bounced up and down under the table and he sighed. History was the worst class. His eyes wandered lazily across the room and then rested on a head of soft caramel hair spilling over hunched shoulders.

A barely audible sigh escaped his lips and he rested his chin on his hand. Zoe Murphy was one hundred percent confirmed the most perfect human being in existence. His notebook page was blank and he picked up his pencil, an idea springing into his head.

Maybe it wasn't exactly a letter to himself, like his shrink wanted, but it was a...reminder, perhaps. He realised she wasn't exactly looking at her page. In fact, her leg was propped up on her chair and she had a silver sharpie in her hand. He craned his neck forward and saw little doodles on the turned up cuffs of her jeans.

Stars.

A whole galaxy of constellations decorating her jean cuffs. She put the pen down and sighed, running her fingers through her hair, sending it rippling down her back.

Evan made a note and then doodled in the margins.

...

During lunch period, Evan always sat in the table next to hers, just so he could pretend he was close to her. She never noticed him sitting there, but he was content with that. He looked straight down into his lunch so she would never have any idea he was paying attention. His eyes flicked upwards to catch her leafing through a magazine with bright bold font. Definitely tabloid trash.

One of her friends sidled up and peeked over her shoulder.

"Oh my god, Zo, do you really still fill out those stupid quizzes?" The girl giggled.

Zoe coloured and ducked her head.

"It's just a little fun. I don't really take them seriously." She defended, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Evan's eyes dropped. He'd spent enough time observing her, he knew Zoe only did that when she was nervous or lying. Suddenly he felt like he was intruding.

But he still took out his notepad and jotted it down.

...

"I guess we're lab partners, huh?" Evan laughed nervously. Already he was cursing himself for sounding stupid and his palms became slick with sweat.

"I guess so. Do you wanna grab the Petri dishes? I'll get the microscope." She offered, and he rushed to nod.

"Y-yeah, sure, I can g-get that." He practically ran to find the Petri dish and then warned himself to slow down so he didn't look like a dweeb. Boy, this was off to a bad start.

He retrieved them and then rushed back with the plastic dishes.

"Okay, I got-," the little dish slipped from his sweaty fingers and he dropped one of them. "Shit! I-I mean, shoot. Sorry."

Burning red, he crouched down to pick it up. When he stood up and finally met her eyes in embarrassment, he found her grinning at him.

His embarrassment faded away and a giddy feeling bubbled in his chest. A goofy smile of his own spread across his features. She didn't seem to see his nerdy happiness, and he let himself lose himself for a second in her bright eyes.

"It's fine. Evan, right?" She cocked her head, that adorable smile playing at her lips. His heart pounded in his chest and an awkward laugh slipped from his mouth.

"Erm, y-yeah. And you're Zoe." _Shoot did that sound too sure? Would she think he was stalking her in her free time?_

Luckily she didn't seem to notice and just nodded. "Okay, why don't we get started?"

"Um, y-yeah. Just, uh, give me a sec." Evan blushed again and then dug around for his notebook. He made a quick note and then put it back in his backpack, smiling hesitantly.

"Okay, I'm ready."

...

Evan looked up from his notebook in homeroom as Zoe walked. His eye widened like dinner plates upon noticing what had changed.

Her hair, her lovely, silky, shiny caramel hair was streaked with indigo blue highlights.

And it looked damn good.

Zoe was blushing at the looks she was getting and hiding behind her new hair. Evan thought he might stand up right now, stride across the room and kiss her right on the lips, because she looked beautiful.

His breath caught in his throat and he realised his jaw had slipped open. Swallowing, he hunched closer to his desk, but didn't take his eyes off of her.

"Zoe! Your hair!" Her friend nearly squealed. "What happened?"

She lifted her chin defiantly and tuck a swath of her hair behind her ear. "I decided I wanted a change."

Her friend seemed to take several moments to process this. "I-I mean, wow, it looks so good! It really flatters your eyes."

Secretly Evan agreed, but he just looked down and kept doodling. Still, he took a brief second to write a note.

...

Evan finally stood up from his chair and stretched towards the sky. He'd stayed late in the library to do his homework, and he hadn't realised how late it was until he had just checked his watch.

Now he packed up his things and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up. Patting down his brunet locks, he slung his bag over a shoulder and started his trek out of the school. As he was passing through the deserted halls, he heard soft music playing.

Instead of ignoring it and walking away, he found himself drawn to it and in an almost hypnotic trance, he followed it. Peeking in shyly, he found himself looking at Zoe.

She was dancing.

She wasn't perfect, but something about swaying, twirling, leaping to the music made his chest feel tight. Zoe didn't even notice as he stood there, watching her in awe, just kept doing her thing.

He found himself swaying to the music as well, just watching her unleash her inner grace, all of her emotions. As the music crescendoed, he realised she was crying. Fat tears were escaping her closed eyes and coursing down her flushed cheeks.

Evan watched wistfully, wishing he could run in there and comfort her, maybe fix whatever was troubling her.

Reluctantly, he tore himself away from the incredible sight, knowing he'd overstayed his welcome, and soon the music would end and she would see him.

But as he was hurrying out, he reached around into his backpack to scrawl a quick notation in his notebook.

...

 _Things I've Noticed About Zoe Murphy:_

 _She scribbles stars on the cuffs of her jeans when she's bored._

 _She still fills out the quizzes in teen magazines even though her friends think it's dumb._

 _She has an amazing smile. It isn't super wide, but it's so real and makes you feel so happy inside. (Side note: she seems unaware of this fact.)_

 _She looks incredible with indigo highlights._

 _She can dance like no one else in the world is watching._

...

 **Okay! First fic in this fandom, sort of similar to one other fic already published, but I swear I wrote this before I read that! Great minds think alike, I guess. Anyway, review and share the love!**


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